Is subah ki koi shyam nahi,

Ke jab tera chehra phir se samne aaya,

Mere man ke har taar ko jhanjor diya ,

Ke jab teri aakhon ne phir kiya ghayal,

Daard phir se aasuon ko saath le aaya,

Ye bewafai ki daastan kya thi,

Humne kabhi tum pe na ilzam lagaya,

Simat gaye hum humin mein kutch is tarah,

Ke maut par bhi zaban per sirf tera naam aaya…

Sirf tera naam aaya………………………………

Revelations.......................................

Time:

One Factor which controls us mortals……...turning a king to beggar and vice versa…..

A rush of questions enters the tunnels in our brain…. Control and power is long lost…..sanity which worked out well suddenly plays a different note…

What seemed write once is crime now…… every action and word spoken defies our self….

A fear of disaster with every phone call……Doorbell stops your heartbeat…..

Blank as white sheet……scared of an outburst……like a virgin scared of her First Period….while staining the Whiteness of white……innocent not to know its Natural……yet remains fearful till she turns into a gothic Queen decorated with Black Patent leather, Black nail paints, Black mascara, her tears leaving a black trace down her cheeks making her look more Sexier for herself…… yet Tears are tears and they break her; hiding behind her DARK GOTHIC SELF she remains a scared Virgin…… not fearing her Periods anymore stuffs her up with cotton…..yet she bleeds with pain…..her surrounding and BEST FRIENDS know of her periods and ache….yet no one wants to see her blood…..IT DISGUSTS THEM…..

style shaved my stub today……. Looking in mirror turned my face like in them Advertisements……wore a black Tee and comfy pajamas……cleansed my face with scrubs and fancy products……..thought to give myself a pamper……a fresh glow dawned my face or was it the Golden glow of Yellow light from bulb…... fresh….let me rephrase it ….FRESHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!! That was expected….right?

All what vision, eyes provide me …. Moist eyes…. little reddish on that…… forced smile trying to be all Style Bhai !!!!! Nothing changed……. was a Bastard….. Shall Remain one………

Soft strings from Funkadelic “Maggot Brain” provide perfect acoustics ……. Dark skin against Black Tee-shirt….. Makes u look fairer…… a weird thought “with all my crimes there are larger crimes out there” what a metaphor for Dark skin and black Tee!!!!!! I smile like a Lunatic…. Or hey a psychotic Poodle……

A conspiracy to murder ; FAILED….. Not once but twice…….. Heard rumors yet again A Perfect Murder is planned…… Quest to protect is Gone ….lost somewhere…..for whom……does this life matters to anyone….remaining a pawn in hands of them who think they control thy soul….cause u show them u love them…..yet every time that phone rings the true sentiment of a Possible fluke or “Bastardship” Greets u with “Good Morning”…..


There is no wish to put an end to breath……..no wish to see them veins spurting blood………surviving today to Live tomorrow……. Taking Blows today to get healed tomorrow…… being hated today to be loved tomorrow…..


Yet wish to be introduced again………..

Yet long to Breath next to someone’s ears…..
Her neck smelling of her skin…..moist skin …. Sweat beads smoothing up my skin too…..
yet long to Drive the Black Serpent with fingers entangled with hers……
yet wish to see someone smile tearfully looking at that Rose when she opens her door.
Yet want to wear my Apron again and brew Coffee with to die for Breakfast …. Waking her up with a slight blow in her ears…… saying “Good Morning Angel;
yet wish to stare at the window holding her from her waist…….see the morning from her eyes…….
yet wish to Propose her in the middle of the Sky surrounded by clouds……. Tell her I want to Grow old with her………
yes wish to Kiss her beneath that Mistletoe…..to walk that threshold…… to see happiness and content in her eyes……. To see her dreams come true…… to hear her sing and sing to her…… to love her….. and to be loved……..to Become Us just Us……

Yes wish to Live Again………..


have a son who is son to a bastard Father……..and am Father to a bastard son……

laxman da dhaba

So she took her love for to gaze a while upon the fields of barley; in my arms she fell as her hair fell down among the fields of gold…….will u still love me will you be my love ….among the fields of barley ; we’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky among the fields of Gold……………………………

Mind Freaking experiences since last few days……..


Awakening of a feeling which had Died for almost years and years…………


No reason and no sense…….yet so livid, lucid, and oblivious and Beautiful…….


Someone who just happened to become an important part of me said “vipul you are weird, u look like a psycho…..u don’t attract psycho’s as you are one”


Someone who used to be very important to me and probably I loved to the core told me this year starting “Vipul you are not the kind of man someone can take home to….. You are used and you have a son”



As of now and since years back all I managed to do is laugh it off………. It doesn’t bother me anymore as the fact of Human selfless love is obsolete for my used soul.


The feeling of a constant mind fuck forces me to believe that iam unwanted…..


People with whom I don’t have a “being in love connection” accuse me of having it and using them…..


People with whom I feel a “being in something” connection don’t wish that from me or with me…………..


Is my Divorce a taboo which inflicts its plague on me ever since I have learnt about it?


Or am I a real living breathing PSYCHO?


Or am I yet another VAMPIRE who lives in the night and burns in the sun……….


I have a purpose and I have to accomplish that………. My Son is my life and soul…….. No hopes of any one accompanying this life and no hopes of any possible Love………….or companionship……… yet my hearts waits for thee………….


One day the sun shall shine again I know of that……one day someone will be my sun I know of that………. Would that day be in my next birth……… would I have a next birth anyways?


Scarred face/ scarred body/ scarred soul……yet not demented …..Yet not dead……yet the instinct is 100 folds…..


Iam the Phoenix…..


Burn me and I shall live again…………