If i could

Who am I?

Shut up!!!!!!

I want to shout and let myself out!!!

Who the fuck is you to do that?

Iam nobody……….iam here to answer your quarries…..iam here to hear you lash out………iam here to process my job but listen to you accusing me every time…..

Not this time …..Since long long years back…….i couldn’t speak then and I cant speak now……..i suck in so u can speak out………when shall I have anyone top hear me ? When shall I have anyone to comfort me……….when shall I have anyone to take my lashing ………NEVER and NO ONE.

Iam trying and I will try ….that’s what I have come to learn in due course of time…..iam dependent on everyone’s approvals, that’s what my virtue is……. Being questioned by nobody’s has become my Prerogative,

I don’t know how long will it go…… I surely don’t have the character to speak in front of them people……… I just lift up my bags once and for all and walk out……….iam holding till now……. I have walked out once……….but I guess it never mattered………. I did land up back again ….not for myself and My GOD knows not for me……..but then the situation plays us and DO us in the most unnatural positions don’t they?

I honestly confess…….. I do lay myself up for anyone who is important in my life…….and one thing I beg and need from them is RESPECT for me……….i never had it and I never will get it……….people who are full of attitude are the one’s perpetually surrounded by people like me respecting them as people like me don’t want other’s to feel bad…….but then people like me never ever get respect……or maybe I am the people and iam the masses without any name or without any value……

Iam a worker who will eventually do what it takes to make his bosses smile to be thrown a wad of currency notes at him and smile………….. and then I shall be asked what’s my real worth…………

Money : the most amazing bitch is money….it makes the world o round and round…..it takes you and breaks you……it provides you pleasure’s which cost you a lot and at times your own self………I had it al….. I lost it all…..i paid then ….and iam paying now……..i was “The” son and iam “the” son now…………only the caps have gone away……iam replaced with fresh happiness…………. Iam replaced with new life……….iam totally replaced……..the onion peal which protects the onion till the time it’s suppose to be consumed……….the peal is cut off and thrown away…………….

Iam sick and tired….sick of taking attitude …..Sick of being asked a million unwanted questions which rip me off my SELF……….. Iam feeling that any day this out burst is going to take place……….why should I be scared of this outburst………..if these so called important people really cared for me they would not throw their harsh words on me……knowing that I will take it without even speaking back…….. Today has just pushed me slightly towards my breakdown mode………….

I am going to refrain myself from involving myself in people who I really love or I have relationship with……………

I know I shall never have what I need……..i know I shall never know what I WANT……

But I do know that iam living for a reason which I can’t even touch…………..

The reason is costing my life……………

BUT IT’S WORTH IT……….

If only I could be a reason enough……………..